As you might have guessed, everything is not all's well in Castle Ever After.

Music is very important to me, to my well-being I must be able to experience my world through sounds, I need to feel my ups and my downs in songs. And I feel lost and out of touch when I accidentally go for extended periods of time without music. And today, I don't ( Read more... )

Please don't let this turn into something it's not ( Read more... )

So. My husband says, on MSN while I am sleeping:

"I have some serious concerns we need to discuss, but I am not sure if I should wait till I get home or not before mentioning what they are." (Or something to that effect. I proceeded to spill coffee all over my laptop shortly afterwards, so, we'll have to see if it survived later.)

Mmm... Should I be ( Read more... )

I went back and re-read my post from Wednesday complaining about my appt. with the Social Worker lady. I think what irritated me the most, was not feeling that I was being taken seriously. I have spent years doing that very thing to myself, trying to shove all of my various problems back under the rug while I struggled through my days, and then ( Read more... )

Lonely.

I was flipping through my photobucket account, as I'm a very visually oriented person, and have lots of images just saved because I liked them. I remembered that I had a whole section on images of "lonely" or "being lonely", and it occurred to me I had intended to manipulate them somewhat into more finished statements. But, I've sort of lost ( Read more... )

It's St Patrick's Day! I have a new icon in celebration! Woo! (What it is supposed to say is "I'm Not Irish... but I still look damned good in green." but it's so tiny you can't really tell. C'est la vie ( Read more... )

 I am extremely physically, and mentally, exhausted right now. But I'm laughing, I think because I am literally just so relieved, that I feel like posting before I go throw myself into my bed to pass out. So here goes:

I went to the clinic today. I'm sort of surprised that I made it there, really. I was going to go to class today, but while I was ( Read more... )

So, my friend Tony, whilst forcing me to actually converse with another human being, asked me this question:

"Have you ever seriously considered suicide?"

...And my silence over the phone was apparently not comforting. But I am not sure. What does this question mean?

- I have stared down at the razorblades that we used at work when I used to do ( Read more... )

"Please don't ask me why I'm sad, I'm sad, because you had to ask."

I do not suffer from depression because of something. It is not an accute malaise which I can pin-point, nor possessing of a specific time frame to which I can think back and say, "Ah-hah, that's where it all started." And I can't point to my body and say "this is where it hurts ( Read more... )

This post is really for me, I need to write/talk about it, more than it is for anyone who might actually, *gasp*, read my posts, but I don't see any point in locking it either.

...Anyway.

Uhm. Babies. I saw some Discovery channel show about babies and their mental development over their first year of life, blah blah blah, it was fairly interesting. ( Read more... )